Aku Memang Bukan Batu Karang

Entahlah ..sudah aku bilang bahwa aku bukanlah batu karang yang kuat yang berani menghadapi ombak-ombak, bahkan aku takut diterpa ombak.
cukup aku dan tuhan yang tahu bagaimana aku menahan rasa sakit ini, bagaimana aku selalu menghindar dari setiap kenyataan pahit yang ada, bagaimana aku selalu kesakitan menahan rasa perih dalam hati ini, serta bagaimana aku selalu memperlihatkan ketegaranku disaat aku harus menghadapi dunia yang tak adil... SATU yang aku tahu, bahwa Allah selalu berbuat adil padaku.  Tapi aku tak pandai untuk mensyukurinya...
Entah bagaimana aku harus memperbikinya, aku benar-benar merindukan masa laluku, tpi aku sadar aku harus lebih berfikir kedepan, dan yakin bahwa masa depanku akan lebih cerah ...
apa benar aku sedang mencari jati diri hingga aku ingin mencoba hal-hal baru yang belum aku lakukan sebelumnya, hingga aku menentang entah hal itu buruk atau baik untuk diriku sendiri, entahlah apa yang sedang terjadi padaku, aku benar-benar merasakan gejolak besar sedang terjadi dalam diriku.
My Lord.... bantu aku...

 

Untukmu Cintaku.

Berjuta kata cinta yang mungkin akan hadir ketika aku melihat matamu, perasaan cinta yang sampai saat ini masih menjadi misteri di hatiku, misteri yang belum berani aku pecahkan. Setiap alunan do'a yang kupanjatkan adalah tentangmu, tentang harapan yang aku impikan bersamamu.
Alunan lagu cinta yang berdendang di telingaku tak mampu menghentikan rasa rinduku padamu. Setiap tulisan pena yang terus bergoyang menuliskan setiap perasaanku padamu. Tapi hati ini mungkin akan tetap diam, dan mulut ini akan terkunci untuk menghadapi rasa ini, hanya ketika nanti waktunya tiba, saat engkau datang membawa cinta serta keyakinanmu padaku, ketika itupun semilir angin cinta yang ku hembuskan hanya untukmu,
Cinta...
Tuntunlah aku menuju hatimu...

Fall Up in The Labyrinth of The Task

Tuesday, March 2013, during a week I had to fall up worked midterm assignment.  Because of that I needed more silence in the room, constantly struggling with the task, hoping to create a story of “Little Red Riding Hood” amazing my version.  But it was not easy.  Looking for ideas with facts and imagination combined the two into one and created a beautiful work and got a crazy ideas, according to my lecturer.

When I did it, many things that I felt in every process, from the ordinary to extraordinary.  There was a little things that I thought was very funny if I remembered it, it made me angry when I heard my friend in the room were singing when I did the task, and I thought it was very disturbed me.whereas before I would prefer to sing along while she was singing.  Sometimes I asked myself “what I was crazy because this task?”  Not only that, in addition to more often stayed up every night for the task, my appetite was also being increased.  Sometimes, every night at 19.30 PM, before wrote the task I prepared many meals and a cup of hot chocolate in my room, so I felt calm when worked the task.  Crossed in my heart “what happend to me?”.

There were some unusual things that I did before, but after I did it, it became my new habit.  Now, I was more often took a ritual ablution when I found confusion in the assignment that was a positive value for me.  Now I hada new habit, it was always listened to music when I was working the task, such as when I did the midterm assignment, Ialways listened a song “A Thousand Years” by Cristina Perri, all of them couldmake me more calm when I did it.  Sometimes I thought “what I was looking for? And what I thought about it?” this habit of appearing suddenly on me.

There was also a scene that made me weak and small in every processto completed it.  After prayed I always pray to God that my task completed soon while cried, and I often updated status on facebook account that I said I was exhausted by the task.  I began to ask myself “what I am not strong? And what I was really weak?” I didn’t know why.

There was a unusual struggle that I felt during the process of making midterm assignment, it happened when my pocket money began to run out and I had no money to go to the cafe (warnet) to type the task, I had to wait for roomate’s laptop  unemployed, then I could borrow it for typedit.  I sweated when I  typed it, I wasafraid there were missing words.  Finally I could finishit, then I screamed and I said “I am free!”, and I was very happy.  I was like went out from the dark labyrinth that full of traps, and get the winning goblet. lol

After looked it back, I started think “am I crazy? What did I think about this assignment?”.  I just felt this task has been giving me some meaning in each process.

dream High

my dream